Stacy King, '98, Helping Kids is Her Passion
Stacy King was placed at Boys Town to get her away from an abusive home life. Violence, sexual abuse and gang activity in the home was taking its toll and with the help of her therapist and biological father was placed at Boys Town.The feeling of abandonment by her family was difficult for Stacy. “When I left home my mother refused to say goodbye to me and my father barely said anything to me when he dropped me off. I was dropped off and my family just left me there. I felt abandoned. I felt like I did not belong there. I was not like the other girls.” Like many before her Stacy grew to understand that Boys Town was the right place for her.
Boys Town memories help to shape who we become. Working with the horticulture department Stacy learned to trim trees. “I learned about the small little things that grow at the bottom of the trees actually suck the life out of the trees and it is important to trim those parts off. When I drive by a tree today I still remember that and want to go trim the tree. Had I never had that job, I would have never learned that.”
“I liked getting out of the house and meeting new people. It helped me develop relationships outside my house and build new friends. I liked how Boys Town forced us to get out of our shells and do things even when we didn’t want to.” One of Stacy’s greatest fears was of heights. The “Ropes Course” was staring squarely into that fear. “I remember we had to do a ropes course as a house and I am deathly afraid of heights. We had to do the whole course or we couldn’t go home. One thing we had to do was a high wire walk across. I refused to do it. My family teachers told me we could not go home until I did it. I tried my hardest to not do it. The girls all encouraged me and guess what. I DID IT. I made it across that darn thing. I beat that wire. I cried like a baby when I finished. That was the breakthrough I needed to know I could overcome my fears and I could do anything. We became stronger as a house then.”
Stacy’s Family-Teachers, the Wilsons and their assistants had a great positive influence on her. Her English and Journalism teachers helped her to gain skills and confidence and had a great impact on her performance in school.
“I learned what a normal family is supposed be like. I had never seen that before. I did not know that people could sit at a table and eat food without having it thrown at you or having to leave because your father was drunk and embarrassing. I was raised where it was my job to break up fights between my parents and to protect my mother at all times. I always took care of everyone. At Boys Town I finally was able to just be a kid. I was able to get a job and keep my money. I purchased my first car on my own. I was able to see a man treat a woman with respect. Mike Wilson was so respectful of Kate and we saw his ability to be vulnerable. I had never seen that before. Vulnerability in my family was something that was used as a weapon and if you allowed it to be shown you were considered weak. I was allowed to be vulnerable and it was welcomed and talked about in a good way.”
Stacy uses what she learned from the Wilson’s and others at Boys Town to raise her children and to help the kids she works with to break the cycle of dysfunction in their families.
Experience is always a good teacher and Stacy learned from some less than good choices she made right after graduation. “I was given a full paid scholarship by Boys Town. I did not make the best choices right after graduation. I fell into what a lot of kids do. I got a taste of freedom and ran with it. I fell into bad habits and made a lot of bad choices. I did not get my head back on my shoulders until I was 24 years old.”
Taking stock of her life, Stacy made the decision to change direction. “I went back to school and earned my bachelor’s degree in criminal justice. I started working with adults in halfway houses and prisons. I worked with drug addiction and sex offenders. I then moved into working with juveniles. I enjoyed that more as it reminded me of Boys Town. These kids gravitated to me since I could relate to them.”
Stacy completed her Master’s Degree while working full-time as a social worker. “I was working in the system and removing kids from their parents and putting kids in the foster system. It broke my heart. I wanted to try to keep these kids in their homes. I found a therapy organization and became a part of their team and they do just that. They try to keep the kids in the home, rather than remove them. So when the Department of Human Services becomes involved we intervene to keep the kid in the home. We do intense therapy with the parents and try to change their parenting skills and the show them ways to change the family dynamic. Difficult home situations are not always the kid’s fault. I currently work with the school, parents and all the systems around the kid to, hopefully, keep the child in the home. I don’t want a kid to feel what I did the day I was dropped off at Boys Town. Although I would not change my time there for the world I never want a kid to feel that pain. It is horrible.”
Stacy plans to continue working for and with the children in her community. “I want to make changes in the mental health system in my state. It needs a revamp. It is not helpful at all for our kids or adults. It needs to be changed. Someone needs to make noise. Might as well be me.”
In her spare time Stacy loves to go camping and hiking. She enjoys reading books and going to movies. Her son is in gifted programs and, like her, loves to read.
Stacy came to Boys Town because someone recognized that she had value as a child. While the initial placement was traumatic, why wouldn’t it be, she learned to adjust, grow and take advantage of the program of care Boys Town offered. “If it was not for Boys Town I would not be where I am today.” says Stacy.